<3<3<3


Now, if only I could get a job.

Change is a scary business.

I have lived the last year, hell, most of my life, with a sense of uncertaintity. I've had a considerable amount of mental and physical distress. I have yet to feel that my life has accomplished anything, I've lacked a sense of meaning.

I hope this year will bring along things that will change my life. I want this year to be my phoenix from the flames.

Hope is not something I'm particularly good at, but I'm getting better. I am looking forward to the changes in my very near future, the fruit of new decisions and choices, the steadiness of supportive, encompassing love.

I am beginning to feel the breeze of a sense of freedom beneath my weary wings...

It's all very exciting. Exhausting, scary, worrysome, unknown, frustrating...

But exciting.


Bring it, 2007. I'm ready.

So, here it is, 2007.

Funny how you can be surounded by people and still totally feel alone.

I do hope the next year will be better.

I do hope vomitting pre-hangover helps in the morning.

I do wish Peter would come back from the Virgin Islands.

Typing is really hard when you are drunk.

I miss my cousin.

Lalala. To reiterate I hope 2007 rocks my socks off.

Damnit, why is no one ever around when some good news comes along my way? -_-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAN LIPERT!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO1!@#!$12231@##

I really, really want it to be next year. I just want my debt to be paid. It feels like it's six million years away. My job sucks so bad. I'm so poor. I'm just a burden on other people that I care about.

I feel like I'm suffocating. I feel like I'm split in to two halves. One half is trying to be all happy and act like everything will be fine... That half is trying to believe that everything will be fine. The other half, the other half is just so unhappy.

I don't know which half is the real half.

Life comes with no instructions and no return policy. I have followed the wrong path more than once, I just want to do the right thing. I don't want to be a fuck up anymore. I want to get out of the shadow of all my damn mistakes and finally live my life. I want to believe that I can do it. I really do.

I just want to be happy.

So, here I sit, slightly tipsy on wine and very tired. I guess I'm somewhat thoughtful and somewhat bored.

My relationship is great. I'm really happy with Peter, I love him, and I haven't had the best track record with relationships and/or love. Infact, so far, I'd really only say I've had two I would count as actual relationships. I just hope everything stays as great as it is, that would make me happy. I can't say my fear of relationships, of trusting another person, of intimacy and vunerability is completely gone... But, it's pretty far in the back of my mind.

I hate, hate, hate, hate my job. I can't even begin to describe how much I just hate it. It's such a worthless, unfullfilling, craphole in existence. It's so depressing to look at the little hole I am stuck in. I can't wait until my debt is paid, Christ, I just can't fucking wait. I'm so sick of having 20$ between paychecks. So many damn things I would do over again finacially and educationally...

My hair dying did not turn out the way I wanted. I think it was the bleach I used. /sigh. Better luck next time, which will probably be sooner rather than later.

I am going camping up North tomorrow until Sunday. There's a cabin and such. I'm not even sure where it is, all I really care about is that I will have four days free of my job. It will be a nice little vacation.

Other than that, I'm still a neglectful friend, which I need to remedy. I need to spend more time with people, and I'm very sorry. Keep calling me, I swear I'm not trying to be a rancid bitch. And I miss Dan.

Other than a shitty job and having no money, things are pretty decent. Hopefully they will only get better.

And Jesus Christ on a stick, why the fuck is Radiation 4 breaking up!?!!?!?!?!?! ;_________;

Babble. Babble. Babble. Babble. Babble. Babble.


Babble.

I went to a wedding on Saturday. I looked pretty cute, even with the sunburn. I didn't get any good pictures, but I think other people did, so we'll see. The wedding was adorable. Corky looked very pretty, and Oliver looked very happy. It was very romantic. I also got a haircut.

( Picturez. )

Excitement... My life is relatively boring. I just sit around and work a lot. :P

I started playing EarthBound again. Woo.

I dunno, I'm rambling.

( Bored... )

My LJ is boring, and I need a haircut.

Greed:	Medium
Gluttony:	Medium
Wrath:	Medium
Sloth:	Medium
Envy:	Medium
Lust:	Medium
Pride:	Medium

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

Today has been thoroughly depressing all around.

I can honestly say I am 96% happy.

I also need to update Livejournal more. And hang out with my friends. And play FFXI.

WHM 68/SMN 34. So close, and yet so far.

My bills are getting closer and closer to being paid.

I got curtains. I've lived here for years, and for the first time, I've made an attempt to make it lived in. I also put up a little shelve with four plants on it. I think I might get some more.

Went to a BBQ this weekend. It was fun.

I need a new job. One that doesn't treat me like shit.

Indiana Jones is totally hot. <3

And I've run out of interesting things to say.

My computer, she is dead.

I'm working off of safe mode right now, but I think it's safe to say she's finally down for the count. I don't know if I'll be on much for the next couple of days until I figure out what do.

Does anyone have a copy of Windows lying around? Perferably XP?

Also, I'm never going to get ZM4 done because God hates me.

Apparently when the world is serving up shit, I am first in line.

I think I need more stress in my life. And more bills. And more disappointment.

( Screenshots. )

Currently:

WHM61
BLM39
SMN31
NIN28
WAR18
MNK10
THF3
RNG1